I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
