The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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