I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
