I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
