no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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