I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think my moral compass just broke
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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