No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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