And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
