ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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