There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
