no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
