2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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