after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
