I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
