Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
