what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
