You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
