I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
