Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
