what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize