YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
