is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
