Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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