She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
