Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
