Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
