omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
