I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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