either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
