really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize