So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
