so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
