Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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