I just pynch a tree in the face
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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