fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
