Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
