:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
