He uses pillows to masturbate.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
