Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
