Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
