I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
