Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
