Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
