What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
