she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
