Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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