I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
