I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
