make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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