What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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