didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
