Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
